'You Journal Everyday?!' - A Tale of a Girl and her Journal

I think the title gives the gist of today’s article away, so I’m going to jump right into it by telling you that this story begins a long time ago.

Technically, I started journaling when I was in grade four, although I have no physical evidence to prove it, and even if I did, it wouldn't count because honestly, what I did was idiotic. Basically, 9-year-old Aditi was inspired by the protagonists in the works of Judy Blume and Enid Blyton who kept diaries (and sometimes even dairies), romanticized the notion and tried to copy them.

She'd use random flip pads and similar flimsy non-glamorous writing canvases and then, to maintain secrecy, use initials and acronyms that she naively believed she would always remember. So in terms of meaningful journaling, that absolutely did NOT count.

Which is not to say that I have a clearly outlined definition of what 'meaningful journaling' constitutes - though, of course, 'comprehensible' definitely makes the criteria. I've actually written about this before though, when I discovered that a lot of things I'd written were silly (you can read that here) - and I have no intention to revisit that. That's not the point.

I think what I'm driving at here is that the whole notion of keeping a journal is something that was planted in my head a long time ago, and that I failed miserably with Round One.

Round Two came in sixth grade when I got some book vouchers, and amongst the things that we bought were two green A4 note books, one of which I decided would be my journal.

The other, in case you're wondering, I used for mostly biology notes, and then for random things like song lyrics (throwback to the time you couldn't just Google!) and vocabulary/spelling (I assume, though I'm surprised to see some of these words…did I really not know them??)

Again, though, I didn't last long on the regularity front. I would get through months without writing, and then vomit out a somewhat lengthy story about recent ongoings (or just write about how I was sad about being overweight, or something)

This is about 2006/2007, by the way.

In 2008, I started taking over diaries that my parents would get each new year, and I thought that those would help me be more consistent because they'd have a page for each day and I do have obsessive tendencies when it comes to filling up pages and stuff…but that didn't work either.

Well, it did till the first quarter of the year, new year vibes and all, and then it would fizzle out into a vast desert with periodic updates, usually beginning with 'OMG I can't believe it's been so long!'. These diaries would become so hard to navigate, in the sense that I would have to go through blank pages of April to August to see one random entry in September, that I decided to go back to my 'original' journal for anything particularly 'juicy'.

So every new year, or birthday, or any other 'major' day, I would go to the big green book, while on other days it'd be to the 'normal' diaries.

This went on till 2010/2011, I believe (I'm not sure when I became regular with writing) - so, by the way, this is why I say I get how it can be hard to do this daily! People often go all, 'I don't have time for that' and 'I tried to keep a journal once…' and sometimes they've got this admiration for my consistency which I think is uncalled for, because dude, I've really not been that 'disciplined'.

I don't even know what changed to make me more consistent. Maybe I just reached a tipping point and decided I was tired of starting each new year with 'This year I will be consistent with writing in my diary every day'. These days, by the way, I don't do new year resolutions, nor do I call it a diary…

It just happened.

Though, and I'd alluded to this earlier, I churned out a lot of garbage that does not amuse me at all when I look back at it. I do like to think, though, that it was important for me to go through that because now I know what not to do.

Over time, I've become more attuned to what sort of things truly matters to me…and hey, you know what? This could also be why it's become easier to keep up with the habit of writing.

See, before, my primary driving force was 'must write every day', and as a result, to fulfil my obligation, I would write nonsense. Now, though, I actually want to say stuff and make note of it and all that, and so I actively reach out for my journal. I’m no longer forcing myself to do something because it’s ‘cool’.

Makes sense?

So that's one thing.

My turning point was something like this

The next would be: why do I want to write at all?

I've done a lot of self-promotion here, but I don't care - I don't write because it's therapeutic (detailed discussion on that here). I do it because, well, sometimes I just like to offload what's in my head, while other times it's because of how much fun it would be to look back at. I guess I hoard memories?

But that's the bit of my drive that I can actually describe - there's another part that I don't know how to explain: it's just something I do, because…I do. The way we just sleep or eat or smile when we're smiled at, but I can't claim that writing is 'instinct' for me. Not yet, anyway - and so yeah, I do still miss days sometimes.

What's changed though is that I don't let them remain as a 'missed days' - if I'm unable or unwilling to write on one day, I'll do so the next (or ASAP), so I don't have gaps anymore. There's actually a good chance you've seen me journaling while something else is going on without realizing it, actually - because I could have been writing on any ordinary paper. That way I'm not fussy about what my canvas is, because it's the words that matter more.

Dude.

This just made me think of a whole bunch of random things pertaining to my journaling that I could explore - but if I were to start doing paragraphs I would get derailed about 10,000 times, so…let's do this like a fact-file sort of thing, shall we?

What I journal in: Pretty much any notebook, preferably a spiral-bound one, with many pages, and preferably one that has a twin.

When: usually at night, before going to bed. Or before leaving for school. Sometimes, at lunch time or in between classes.

For how long: It depends. Like I said, it's the content that matters, so depending on what I have to say…but in general I think the minimum is 10 minutes, while the maximum can go on for hours if I'm distracted (read: if I'm doing random things like whatsapping while journaling).

What I write about (and in what format): My day, basically, with a focus on events that felt particularly meaningful (which can be both positive and negative). Sometimes I start to think out loud in terms of what's on my mind, and how I want to go about doing something…things like that. I'll also note down anything that will be fun to remember later, like how it was on that day that we went to restaurant ABC and make the mistake of ordering XYZ.

What ‘format’ I use: It's usually in prose, but bullets do feature when I try to keep it short.

By the way, the reason I'm giving so much detail here is that I've actually been asked many times about what it's 'meant' to be like, and I'd like to address that. Firstly, you know I don't believe in absolutes, right? So I don't think there's anything it 'should' be like. Secondly, it can be what you want! If you do it, I'd hope you're doing it for yourself - so write what comes to your mind. It's all for you.

How strongly I'd recommend journaling to someone who doesn't do it: Not much, actually. I'd say, give it a shot and see how you like it, but don't stress if you don't, because not everything is for everyone, and just because it's something I value, that doesn't mean I expect you to think the same. And it's not something I look at as a 'status symbol', so it's not that I'd think any less of anyone who doesn't journal.

(Lastly, and most importantly): Do I begin my entries with 'Dear diary…'?

Aaah. Nope.

I used to though, in the earlier days.

Now, though, I just get into it...that might be why I struggle with basic courtesies sometimes, actually. Buut that is now too tangential, even for me.

I think I'm actually done.

If I had any further ideas to pick up on after that little Q&A, I cannot remember them right now, and I think I've covered all the major angles, anyway.

I guess if you've got any other questions or comments, you can send 'em my way and I'll address them?

Otherwise, thanks a lot for reading!