On Existential Dread
Scholars have long debated what the acceptable period for generic obligatory wishes is, and…I'm not sure what they decided on, but I do think it isn't too late to wish you a Happy New Year! I know I sounded very begrudging there, but on a serious(ish - if one truly can be serious about this) note, I really do hope y'all find blinding sunlight and love, laughter and inspiration in the next 363 days to come. Sounds lofty, I know, but I actually think it's got a basis in reality. I mean, you're here, aren't you? (On a maybe-unrelated note, I'm pleased to announce that my tenure as Chair of the #whatishumility foundation will continue…)
Okay, that's enough preamble. Let's get to it! This was a 'prompt', so to speak, from a friend - I think the fact that this is what they picked already tells you why we're friends. Existential Dread . This was a fun one, not just because philosophizing is enjoyable, but also because, when I started to draft this, I struggled! I hadn't realized how I didn't have a 'proper' framework to think about it until this point. Which is why, as is the way of writers and seasoned speakers, I'll fluff on by defining things, and use that as my anchor. (What did you think they do that for?). Plus, because the topic is so broad, I'd rather up the word count and make sure we're on the same page (ha - as if that's what's making this a lengthy read…not that I'm even indirectly apologizing). So, the definition I'm working with surrounds the (negative) feeling of inconsequentiality, that nothing really matters. Nihilism is definitely part of the spectrum. If you know me or have followed this space, you know that I'm personally a huge fan of nothing ever being that serious, so you know what my bottom line is already…but if that was all I had to get to and wanted to do today, I'd have just linked you to what I still consider to be The Most Important Article I'll Ever Write, and left it at that. Cue: Analogy. I think that Life is a game that you have to play. It's extremely elaborate, with a lot of room for customization (like choosing what you believe, what to pursue - the shared beliefs that Noah Yuval Harris explains beautifully in Sapiens), but there are a few 'fixed' elements:
We're human.
That means, most of the time, we feel things.
That makes us susceptible to logical and emotional fallacies.
So we have an almost insurmountable tendency to get involved and to respond.
Now, Aditi from once upon a time would have fixated on that 'almost' in #4, made a case for why feelings suck (unless you want to write poetry, in which case…) and are useless, and so we should just pursue 'rising above' and 'moving on' (to where or what, I have no clue)…but once-upon-a-time is not today, so instead, I'll ask you to hold those thoughts as I put out something else. Which is, that at the end of it all, I do still recognize that in the big picture, we're insignificant little specks.
Which means, the nihilists do have a point when they despair and claim that nothing matters - but they're not to be taken that seriously. I don't think there's any need to actively keep reminding yourself that, is all. That keeps you from doing anything relatively meaningful (I use the word 'relatively' because it's a sliding scale), because it's easy to get trapped into thinking that that worldview is a free pass to being nothing but a net consumer of oxygen. So…what's your point? Remember the fixed elements? I basically think, because we're hardwired into getting emotionally invested and involved, we shouldn't really try to fight it, but at the back of our minds, we should recognize or remember that in the grand scheme of things, it's never really that serious. You might argue it's like having a safety net at the back of your head, to fall back onto just in case things don't work out, and honestly, I'm still trying to figure that out, but what I feel the way forward is, is to recognize that you're bound to feel things, and to fully capitalize on it, but also, chill out. I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over again, but I'm not sure it makes sense. It's like, I could recognize that 'happiness' is nothing but neurotransmitters. It'll take away a lottle if, every time something wonderful happens, I dismiss it by saying 'ah, this has just triggered a flood of serotonin, it's nothing.' Boo. There's no harm, I feel, in allowing myself to feel that 'high' and enjoy it, while knowing in some recess of my mind that my brain just metabolized a lot of tryptophan. So it also follows that I'm a proponent of pursuing things. Having ambitions and goals and purposing to get involved in things that activate those chemical pathways that leave us with the feeling that life is good. And no, I don't mean doing drugs.
I mean the real things that you and I know do matter, as much as anything possibly could - honesty, charity, hard work, integrity, discipline, friends (not doing drugs with them though), family….I'm not saying that you ignore all of those things too. Maybe it doesn't 'matter' in the Andromeda Galaxy whether or not you shamed the most corrupt politician in the world, but if nobody else's, your consciousness and humanity will suffer for it, and at the end of it, you will be left with a feeling of dissatisfaction. That sucks. Don't do that to yourself. Does it sound like I'm trying to only keep the good and discard the 'bad'? Yep. Is it absolutely unrealistic? I actually don't think so. In fact, I'd argue that that's basically what the Buddha (and everyone who followed thereafter) tried to teach us with the whole 'be present' thing. You're fully immersed in that moment, taking it in, and…well, that's that. When you're living in just that moment, you're giving it everything that you have, and there's no real thought about 'context'. Which is fine - nothing is absolute or a given, anyway. 'Okay, that's great, but I thought this was about Existential Dread?' It sort of is though, isn't it? With this above framework/analogy/modus operandi, I'm not sure where the room for the dread to kick in exists. If anything, to think that at the end there will be no catastrophic side effects for this infinite universe we live in is liberating. So, I don't actually understand the 'dread' part in this - and instead I went on to offer you my 'fix' - where we just fully exist in the present. We have just one job, to do things that we're wired to feel deeply, and that's just what we should do. To not use the insignificance as an excuse or a barrier. That, because we're human, we want to matter and in order to make the most out of this experience that's called living, the way forward is to actually attempt to invoke everything that makes us feel alive…while recognizing in a tiny crevice somewhere that it's not that serious, either.
Simple enough, right? I believe third time's the charm, and that 'recap' above was basically just that, so, since I still haven't learned how to 'properly' end an article, I'll leave you with this abrupt ending. As always, thank you for reading! And I'd love to hear what you think, and/or any other suggestions for things you'd like to read about from me!