On New Years (in plural, because I'm Indian)
I don't actually care much for them - and it's not because familiarity breeds contempt.
I'm not being glib here, by the way- there's actually a page on Wikipedia titled 'Indian New Year's Days'.
See for yourself:
Of course, it's regional, so just as I don't celebrate the Chinese and Russian New Years, I don't do the other Indian ones either (gosh, if I did, my BMI would be on the verge of breaking into triple digits) - but bringing this up ('this' being the idea that there are loads of new years) does make it easier for me to cut through to the main point: it's all relative, and so Jan 01 in itself doesn't really impress me much.
I apologize in advance for if I end up sounding super preachy and excessively self-righteous and all round annoying, by the way - that's not my intention, and I really have no 'problem' with the festive season. There was a time I tried to actively remain as objective and 'grounded' as I could and I was a proper Grinch, but I've grown up since then (not literally though) and now, for all I say, I do like feeding off the general atmosphere of hype.
That's not the point though.
The point is…okay, we need to back-track a bit, in as much as I've already given you my bottom line.
Let's think about it.
Why is New Year's such a big deal? What's so special about changing the terminal part of the date?
Unless you're a numerologist (or a believer in numerology), I think you'll agree: it's not so much about the date, as it is what a New Year represents.
It's a milestone - a marker for the passage of time, and because everyone emphasizes on the 'New' bit, it provides a lot of psych for change and starting afresh and…well, that kind of thing.
Seriously though, this 'new year, a lot changes' thing is what I think of when I say that New Year's is special because it's massively momentous. (Momentous = having momentum).
It's not that New Year's is the only momentous occasion, by the way. Birthdays, other anniversaries, festivals, the start of a new month - new weeks, even - they're all momentous, in my view - though to varying degrees. (And Jan 01 is just the motherlode).
I feel like you can now infer where I'm going with all of this, at this point - so in the interest of messing with the flow (and you!) I will take a little detour and mention how this concept of momentum is not original. At all.
This paradigm was actually introduced to me by Sean Covey through his '7 Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers' over a decade ago (I'm old! I promise!) - and clearly, it's left a solid impression. (This is, by the way, one of the top books that have influenced me more than most). In fact, I'm just paraphrasing what he wrote in what I said above - so If you're impressed by this perspective, you should know that
Credit is due to Stephen Covey…I assume - he wrote 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and I assume this was in it, too.
It's probably a book you'd enjoy! (If I were religious I'd call this book a Bible…)
But that's going tooo off track, even for me.
Plus, I've disrupted things enough to make you feel like this read isn't too predictable and dull, right?
I actually used to be all about New Years - not so much the NYE bit because hello introversion / homebodiness, but the whole 'it's a brand new start, I will turn over a new leaf' vibe always pumped me up.
In case you didn't know this about me, I've had a lot of body image and other related 'concerns', particularly in my formative years, and it's been quite a drawn-out 'journey' - so the point is, I would look at the New Years as particularly important milestones. This continued even after my first read of 7 Habits, by the way, but rest assured - the seed was sown.
I'd fail on my 'resolutions' so often - or would feel like I was making no progress and needed to tweak them, that I soon started to hold onto new months, and then new weeks, as my 'breaks' to a new start.
Sean covered all of this, by the way - he's mentioned how every day is an opportunity for a fresh start - but it's one thing to read that idea, and another to actually get behind it. A 'you have to experience it to get it' kind of thing.
Anyway, the point is, because I had so much discontent with my life, I was always making a 'fresh start' - and in the same spirit of 'familiarity breeds contempt' (so I lied in my opener - it was just a different sort of familiarity), New Years, and specifically, what it represented - lost all charm for me. If anything, it was the inverse - those days became a source of dread, because they'd remind me of how a whole 365 days had bone by and I was still the same.
The take home message, in either case, is that I came to regard the Jan 01 fever with, at best, indifference, and, at worst, dread.
But wait.
That's not the end of the story.
It wasn't even that traumatizing a sob story that 'explains' it all. Things actually pick up from here, and it's really this part that I knew was coming and hand in mind when I apologized for sounding preachy and cliché and all that.
Things started to change.
I don't just mean the image in the mirror, mind you - I have, and have had, many other 'issues' that I felt I was stuck on - and there came along days and moments when I'd suddenly realize that something had given, that in the period that I wasn't paying attention to dates and missed self-imposed deadlines, I had made progress. It was nice! Sometimes, I'd be able to trace back the 'victory' to something absolutely random that I'd picked up on an odd day - and it's moments like this that helped me truly believe it was true, that life really could change any moment, even if it wasn't all hyped up.
I wish I had examples from back then to share just to illustrate my point, but I can't remember right now - though I do have a recent one that I've gone in depth in over here. It's a story about an odd lunch on May 08, 2018, that set into motion a sequence that has impacted my life profoundly…don't worry though, I'm not going to start on my usual 'I had so much fun' story. The point is, I'm a firm believer of the 'every day has potential' school of thought - and it's not in the obnoxious 'this is an idea I preach to sound woke' way.
So, when New Years comes around…I no longer feel any of the psych or charm that I used to once upon a time.
Along that note, by the way, is also why I'm not that big on festivities in general. Not being a buzzkill, it's just that the way life is, the factors that make many of the festivals, like Diwali, so special - have ceased to remain relevant.
That is not a complaint, by the way - it's a blessing that we're able to access sweet shops and clothing stores any time of the year. You also have to consider that I'm still a student living at home, so the whole 'I'm away from family and this is the one time I can visit home' thing doesn't apply to me - so I do recognize that this is valid for everyone who partakes in the celebratory mood - I'm just speaking for myself here. Having these things does take away from the traditional 'spirit' of Diwali for me.
Oh, by the way. I think I might have jumped the gun here with assuming that you know what I'm on about. Besides what you've inferred from the above, in case you didn't know, Diwali is one of the biggest Indian festivals - and like pretty much all other festivals, its symbolic value is all about good overcoming the bad. That's part of every festival though, like I said, so what makes Diwali extra special is how it comes with the Hindu New Year, and there's this whole aura of buying new clothes/toys and sweets - basically what you think of with the 'regular' New Year and/or Christmas. People save up all year waiting for this one occasion…and okay, you get it, right?
Swipe to the side for more infographics
The issue is, with how things are these days, those 'special nuances' are commonplace, and so Diwali isn't something intense and spiritual an occasion for me.
There is the religious/spiritual aspect here, too - but a dissertation in that domain wasn't part of my agenda today, so we'll keep it brief. Basically, I don't think that people genuinely take on board the moral/spiritual aspects that surround the festivities - so I honestly don't see the religious 'value'. Nobody even pretends, by the way - I can't really think of any one individual (who I would not name, of course, even if they did exist), who becomes super religious at Diwali time (the way we have diehard football fans who take birth at the start of every World Cup and die when the final ends) - but the point is, if they did, I'd just call BS and be thoroughly unimpressed. I can't even pretend that the charm of Diwali is related to #positivevibes stemming from the triumph of good over evil.
Allow me to digress a little so that I can defend my skepticism.
There's another festival we have, called Dusshera, which precedes Diwali by 21 days, and what's special on that day is that we burn an effigy of Ravan (or Ravana, if you're posh, but please know that the last 'a' is silent) - the bad guy against one of Diwali's heroes - who represents Evil and all to her vices. The symbolism here extends to people likewise burning their own inner demons…every year.
Seriously.
Do you see why I'm unimpressed? Once is fine; twice, sure; three times we're getting to too much…but if you're raising demons then burning them every year, there's a problem. Pardon me for finding it difficult to believe that you were ever that sincere to begin with.
Note, I'm not saying that mistakes you make are demons - that's just part of being human. That's not something you'd have to dramatically burn down every year.
I'm also not saying that yours truly is perfect - I just don’t think that you can overcome flaws overnight. A dramatic show of deciding to improve need only be performed once, I feel - and then you're on a journey that doesn't end! It's meaningless to burn the effigy annually and repeat the declaration that you decided to be better.
Anyway.
That's enough, I think.
No dissertation on religion, remember?
I'm actually done with delivering the message I'd intended to with this article, by the way - but now that we're here, I might as well elaborate on what I said about feeding off of the energy that surrounds the New Year.
Like it or not, the world is going to make a big deal of it, and even if it's not the most 'rational' thing, it's fact that there's a lot of psych and energy that surrounds the occasion. I don't think it's hypocritical to join in with the clamor - and if it were, I'd then go right ahead and be a hypocrite.
I used the word 'milestone' at some point above, and that's where this stems from. Maybe your 'rebirth' happened on another day, and that's alright - over time though, Jan 01 still becomes a handy date to look back at, especially if you're not the type that journals every day and doesn't spend half their time in their own heads. You can think of it as a shortcut, if you will…if it's not your thing to do a day-to-day documentation, you can use a few special dates - Jan 01 being one of them (if you like) to jot down where you're at, and look back there to see how things have changed.
Now, if you don't care about introspection and reflection, then you can ignore it…it's not something you have to do. It's just an exercise I enjoy participating in (which is a mild way of putting it - if doing this burned calories, I'd be rich making 'fitness programs' with my extensive expertise…) and this is one 'alternative'.
So, yeah.
That's where my head's at.
If/When I wish(ed) you 'Happy New Year!', it isn't/wasn't because I was just following social norms - I do mean it in the spirit I imagine it's intended.
I'm also totally done now.
As always, thank you for reading, and…well, Happy New Year!
:)